Running Out of Time

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of time.

For context, I resigned from my BPO job because of stress, anxiety, and the exhausting routine of being a working student. The only reason I worked was to continue my studies. I needed to support myself to reach my dream of graduating. The good news is, I made it through 2nd year. I’m now in my third year of college.

But here comes the twist. Because of the major subjects I didn’t take before (to give myself a little rest) plus the sudden curriculum changes in my school, some of the subjects I need are no longer offered this semester. Worse, they have prerequisites. Because of that, I won’t be able to graduate on time. Instead of school year 2026 to 2027, it looks like I’ll graduate in 2027 to 2028. I might even need to take only one semester before I can proceed with my regular 4th year subjects.

That reality crushed me. I felt disappointed in myself, angry at the system, and jealous of my batchmates who seem to be moving ahead smoothly. Sometimes, I blame myself for not taking that one subject earlier.

Another worry is my scholarship. I have an economic scholarship, and I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep it if I won’t be officially enrolled for one semester. The school also asks for fees for documents I need, which adds to my stress.

On top of that, I don’t have work right now. I tried applying to ESL companies, but I realized I need to spend on printed materials, power supply backups, and a better environment for teaching. Our house is small, noisy, and far from private. My father, who should be our provider, often acts like he has no responsibility. He doesn’t contribute much to school expenses because his income as a cellphone technician isn’t enough. Sometimes, he treats me more like his assistant than his child, asking me to buy things or run errands even when he can do it himself.

All of these make me feel trapped, as if no matter how much I try, there are always hindrances in my way. Deep down, I know what I want: to have my own money, my own independence, my own peace of mind. Maybe that’s the only way I can breathe and calm myself down.

But despite everything, here I am. Still moving forward, still pushing through. Maybe my graduation will be delayed, maybe life will test me again and again, but I’m learning that progress is not about speed. It’s about strength.

So to anyone reading this who also feels left behind, remember that you’re not alone. It’s okay if your journey looks different. What matters is you’re still walking your path, even if it takes longer than planned.

And maybe that’s enough proof that we’re not running out of time. We’re just taking the time we need.