How do I love Thee?

 

SATURDAY, in my major class (literature subject)...

Sir K discussed Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s famous sonnet “How Do I Love Thee?” The poem celebrates love in its deepest and purest form, counting the ways it can exist ---- quietly, endlessly, and even beyond death. But what struck me most was when Sir K said something that made me pause: “Conversation is more important than s#x.”

At first, it sounded bold. But when I thought about it, it made sense.

Cause in love, passion might burn, but it is communication that sustains. 

A relationship cannot thrive in silence, no matter how strong the attraction is. For context, my professor explained how Elizabeth and Robert Browning would write sonnets to each other before bedtime, and eventually, these nightly exchanges grew into a collection. Their love was built not just on feeling, but on words or we can say conversations in the form of poetry.

That lesson made me reflect on my own experience. I’ve felt that strange, almost unexplainable connection where I love someone, yet I don’t really know him.

It’s confusing right ? 

How can you feel so much for someone who remains a mystery? 

But.... I do... I experienced it....

That someone... made me feel like his distant, not because he’s physically far, but because his world is locked away.

I try to bridge that gap through conversation. I ask questions, I initiate stories, I open windows for us to connect. But often, he doesn’t meet me halfway..... so sad, right? :(( 

So, instead of words, he gives me actions or gestures that sometimes contradict what little he says.

For instance, when he’s in ‘tampo’ mode, he won’t say it outright. Instead, he withdraws into silence, sighs deeply, and lets his actions whisper for him and plus those ‘tsk,’ a frustrated ‘hayyyys,’ or a bit of dabog. It leaves me guessing, reading signs like riddles, unsure whether to comfort him or just give him space. More confusing right???

And...... while actions can sometimes speak louder than words, silence can also build walls. 

Love without conversation feels incomplete. I realize now that no matter how much I care, if he cannot open up and let me know him deeply, then my love feels one-sided like reaching out into a void.

And with that Sir K’s lesson reminded me that love is not just about intensity of feeling. It’s about understanding. It’s about two people not only sharing affection, but also sharing themselves.....and when I say THEMSELVES, I'm not talking about PHYSICAL what I mean is their thoughts, fears, joys, even their ordinary stories. 

And maybe... I hope.. someday, I’ll find a love that speaks not only in actions, but also in words.

A love that allows me to say, with certainty and without doubt, all the ways that I love and to hear the same in return.